Love is in the air

Stress, overwork or just feeling down can soon scupper your sex life. Here’s how to bring it back to life with a little herbal help.

Not feeling in the mood for sex is a much more common problem than you might think– largely because it’s not much talked about.  But while it’s quite normal to say no sometimes, turning over  every night and not addressing the underlying cause can result in real problems.

The major culprits are stress, anxiety, tiredness and depression, although there is a direct link between sex drive and levels of sex hormones.  Some prescription medicines can knock your libido too – as can PMT and hormonal ups and downs especially around the time of the menopause.

In men, ‘brewer’s droop’ is not only caused by drinking too much alcohol, but also by a lack of testosterone and (particularly as men get older), reduced blood supply to the penis.  But it is not all bad news. There are plenty of herbs that can help restore that loving feeling and put you in the mood for sex.

Lift your spirits

Feeling down is guaranteed to put you off sex.  St John’s wort is one herb that can help to lift a low mood, even in cases of moderate depression.  It is also good for anxiety and has been shown to help re-establish good sleep patterns. At least one trial using St John’s wort in pre- and post-menopausal women found that those taking a standardised extract of the herb felt sexier and more confident because they were happier in themselves.  They were more inclined to initiate sex with their partners, and to become more adventurous in bed as a result.

Beat stress

A great stress-buster is Panax ginseng.  It appears to support the adrenal glands, which are responsible for the ‘fight or flight’ hormones that go into overdrive when stress becomes an on-going reaction to everyday tensions and worry.  Ginseng can give your energy a boost too, helping you to cope better with life’s ups and downs, as well as giving you more staying power at times when you might otherwise tire more easily! 

Worry not

Taking a low, day-time dose of Valerian – either in conjunction with soothing lemon balm or St John’s wort – can be useful if you find yourself worrying needlessly, or getting things out of proportion.  How can you enjoy yourself if you can’t relax?

Boost circulation

Gingko biloba improves blood flow to the extremities.  It increases the amount of blood and energy-giving oxygen reaching the fingertips and toes, as well as the genital areas of both men and women.  It can help a man achieve and sustain an erection, particularly if this is difficult because arteries and blood vessels in the penis have narrowed.  Ginkgo’s other plus point is its positive effect on nerves and the nervous system.

Help those hormones

Black cohosh and agnus castus can help stabilise hormone levels as well as reducing hot flushes and relieving vaginal dryness, making sex more pleasurable.  Contrarily, agnus castus was known by medieval monks as ‘chasteberry’ because they thought it would help them suppress feelings of sexual desire; in women, however, it is now known to increase production of progesterone and to improve fertility.

Get frisky

The benefits of aptly-named horny goat weed are said to have first been noted by the Ancient Chinese, who realised that flocks of goats became friskier after eating the plant.  It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac, with some reports suggesting it could be as helpful as the most popularly prescribed medicines for men with impotence problems.  Extracts appear to work by increasing blood pressure in and around the penis.

Increase desire

Damiana leaves have long been popular with the peoples of Central America and especially the Mayan Indians for increasing desire, libido and energy levels.  Extracts are rumoured to help a woman climax, and a regular intake can, it is claimed, improve sexual performance and fitness in both men and women.  If taken with passionflower it can supposedly help you to relax, and to dream clearly.  These days damiana is used in herbal medicine to treat impotence, boost energy, increase oestrogen levels and fertility – and to relieve frigidity. 
   

Passion Helpers

• Cut the caffeine late at night.  It can rev you up if you’re already worked-up, making you less likely to be in the mood for love. Sip camomile tea instead if you’re thirsty.
• Stub it out.  Smoking is not only a turn-off for most non-smokers but it also damages blood vessels and nerves in the extremities, which in the long run can affect performance in the bedroom.
•  Tone up to turn-on.  Regular exercise is great for improving body-confidence, circulation and stamina.  And feeling and looking fit rates high in the attraction stakes.
• Learn to relax.  Worry causes stress, which can in turn lead to anger and frustration when expectations under the duvet aren’t fulfilled.  Try deep breathing exercises to calm your nerves, and leave the business day at the office, where it belongs.
• Don’t think about yourself.  Companionship and understanding are as important as sex in any relationship.  Concentrate on pleasing your partner and you could be surprised by just how aroused you feel too.